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Words of Curtsy

The photographs that have added meaning to my notes,are courtesy to various photographers, who shared their work openly on the web.Being the authoress of the blog, I have tried to avoid infringement of any copyright of the photographs that i've applied , but, if by any chance it has happened then i hope that the copyright holder will accept my apology.
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Meet the Princess

June 28, 2011

Answer me…

May be you will never know, the way my heart bleeds, when I see myself as a cruel heartless person through your eyes. May be you will never know that the day I fell in love with you, I forgot to see myself through my eyes. Will you ever wish to know?

Answer me…

The way my each nerve loves you, doesn’t reach to your heart and each drop of my blood, filled with love for you, is not enough to make you believe that how much I love you, then what is the right way of loving?

Answer me…

When you hurt me with your pointy sharp words, when you blame me unnecessarily, you point out my feelings; you raise doubts for my each beautiful feeling for you. Do I not have the right to feel sad and be silent for a while?

Answer me…

You have always ended up each quarrel making me realize that I have made a mistake, I admitted each time, I silently sat back and waited for you to see the pain behind my eyelashes, but the wait seemed eternal, I am still looking at you with all my hope, will you ever turn back to read my eyes?

Answer me…

Answer me, can you answer any of my questions, do you have any clue the way I am dying inside every little second and may be you will never know that the person you think you are in love with, too has a heart, which may get hurt and injured, will you?

Answer me…

June 27, 2011

It’s okay to cry

I was upset, sitting alone; I didn’t really know what to do and how to get rid of the bug that was eating my head since morning. I was quiet, looking around with oddly arid eyes. I was in pain, but I couldn’t express it because of the surety that no one would care, this is what life had taught me throughout the years that when you are in pain, people laugh or stay neutral and a few of them express fake concern and soon they walk away.

I was too obtuse to grasp the tough lessons of life, so I got punished by the universal teacher several times. And imprints of those punishments got stamped on my memories, in form of bitter yet true experiences. I learnt from the lessons that if you want to survive without getting wounded, you have to wear a mask and never show your soft side to anyone.

And I succeeded in applying this lesson in my life, but it was tough, I had to struggle every time and this is what I was doing that day, sitting alone at the corner of basket ball court.

I would have seated there for few more minutes to hold the pain and hide it behind the social smile like other days, but guess life had a new chapter to begin and that’s why you joined in to break the routine or may be to guide me in parting the mask from my soft, mild existence.

“Why so sad?” you began to speak by sitting beside me.

“Who’s sad?” I pretended to answer you, but questioned instead.

“I know we are new to each other and you may be a kind of person who doesn’t want to share things or pretends to be strong, but hey just wanna say that sometimes it’s okay to be soft and its okay to cry.” You stunned me with your soft and straight words.

I couldn’t say anything, how penetrating your eyes were; you astonished me with your straight reach to my heart. But in that very second, you taught me the biggest lesson which missed in life’s classes, I must be sleeping that time..lol

My eyeballs started pouring out the salty rain and I cried in front of you, forgot that we were just friends, who met a few days ago, not much familiar to each other, you consoled me. The shield that I built and maintained for years seemed never existed for you.

That very moment brought us closer, we started sharing a special place in each other’s life, we were happy, getting closer and closer each new day.

But things changed with time, aha! change, the only thing which I always fail to handle. You walked away, you didn’t mention any reason for going & I couldn’t even ask for it.

Your presence dissolved in the air like a particle of vapor, as if you never existed. Your absence started killing me virtually; I was dying inside because in those years of togetherness I had completely forgotten to live without you.

I was feeling nerveless, dying to hold you in my arms, helpless and too frail to shatter into pieces. And those were the lonesome nights when I cried, cried like hell and survived.

Because I remembered the lesson you taught me that sometimes it’s okay to cry!

I thanked you for unfolding this secret of life to me, I still thank you and will always do coz your this phrase is keeping me alive.

June 25, 2011

Still in love with you

Since last six months a quirky thought of cleaning my wardrobe was wandering across the highway of my head, and I as usual was trying to be calm and avoid this thought at my best and I succeeded for so long, six long months, I mean that’s an achievement within itself ya.

But finally came the moment where I had to surrender, I had no option left because my mother has declared the ultimatum that she would kick me out if I don’t consider her order of cleaning the ‘mess’, yeah the ‘mess’ she called it.

So I began with the mission cleanup, in wake to make my mother happy with neaten and tidy up closet.

Okay now from where to start was a big issue, but somehow I managed to pick the upper corner first. Mom was right, it was a mess, things were shattered here and there and one thing which is still troubling me is what the hell was a half consumed mango was doing in the drawer, though it was wrapped in a polythene, anyways ignore it, like I did.

After winning the battle and cleaning the upper battleground, I proceeded further and soon I was there at my favorite corner, the downside of the closet, where I had treasured a few beautiful moments of my life in the form of cards, goodbye diaries scribbled by dearest pals, a few blur roses who had lost their charm but a faint sweet fragrance was still there and a photo album to refresh the wispy flashes of good times.

I was lost in that corner completely and couldn’t even notice that I had rearranged most of the area; I was looking at each tiny element of my precious treasure and placing it to the right place with full care. But there was a thing which I couldn’t help to hold in my hands and open it even after the continuous conflict between my heart and mind. It was the most valuable treasure I possessed, the photo-album.

I held it in my hands for a few minutes, embraced it and my each eyeballs urged to put a glance on those golden moments. I opened it, page by page, picture by picture, I found myself floating in the ocean of emotions, aha! Those beautiful times.

And then at the end, it was your picture, covered with a pink paper, doing this was one of my effort to keep you away from my eyes and never let them see you because I was afraid that once I look at you, I may fall in love with you again, the heart started beating faster than anything and I gave up.

I was on my knees in front of my heart’s deeds.

I tardily unfolded the pink envelope in wake to see your face after a long time. The moment your face appeared, I was cold like ice, frozen yet feeling the heat inside the heart, the heat that would come out through my heart every day after seeing you.

Your every picture was craving me to hear your voice, my each nerve started missing you badly, your smiles, the secrets we shared, the addiction of your scent was still there intoxicating my blood, and the fascinating fantasies to hold you in my arms were evoked.

I had restricted my mind to think about you since I last time saw you and my mind cheated me, misguided me that it had got over you and you are gone, but no, you went nowhere, you are here, etched deep into my soul. My heart lied to me and kept you safe, hidden in the deep soft corner of it.

I loved you, knowingly that you would never be mine, you had your paths decided, but I couldn’t stop loving you baby, maybe I was too weak to get you out of my desires or maybe too strong to love you unconditionally.

You did what you had to do, you walked away because your presence was never meant to last forever, and I tried hard to move on because this was the only option left.

I tried hard, I thought I succeeded and I was happy to know that my heartbeats have learnt to survive without your essence, but your one thought ruined this deception.

I kissed your picture again and again, hugged it and kept crying by keeping it near to my heartbeats.

The every teardrop soaked up by my pillow was enough to make me realize that “Baby! I’m still in love with you.”

June 19, 2011

"I Love you Papa" *HuGs*

Dear Daughter,

I know that your little sharp mind is thinking to its best to make plans to celebrate the day called “father’s day”, because people say that it’s father’s day, your dad’s day.

And taking this into account that it’s my day, so being a father I would like to bring up a few of my feelings on this note:

Before you thank me for being your father, let me share something that is here deep in my heart.

Kid! the day you were born, I became father and from then onwards my each new day was “father’s day”. A father’s day of love, a day of affection, a day of responsibilities, a day of care, a day of question-answers and a day of fatherhood.

Before you say that you are blessed to have me as your father, I would like to express how honored I feel to have you as a caring, sweet and beautiful daughter. Before you begin with the celebrations of today’s day to make it special, I would like to thank you for making my each new day special with your presence.

My little sweet fairy, my princess you have been a fresh flower of my every morning and little angelic star of my  each dark night. No matter you fall back or win in your life you will be my CHAMP forever.

Dear Kid! It’s so sweet to see all of your efforts to make this day special, but I just want to say that, a hug and saying “I love you Papa” will do.


                                                           *HuGs* "I Love you Papa"

June 16, 2011

I wish to color the dead faint rose


It has been ages, since I last time saw you; you have gone, leaving me in the middle. You walked away, you never looked back and you disappeared from my life exactly as morning dew disappears when the sun hits the flower petals.

Life has changed its meaning; those bygone moments are nowhere, it’s only me, standing all alone, holding the dead faint rose that you ever gave to me. I remember when the rose was alive and happily engrafted to its mother; you jumped up the railing to pluck it and I shouted restlessly.

“hey no, no, no..!! don’t pluck else it will die…!!”

And it was too late like always, you had already parted it from the rose-plant. And there you were, on your knees in front of me in the middle of the path, spreading your charming smile and alluring me to kiss your irresistibly inviting lips. I was overwhelmed, blushing and the pure beauty of your love reddened my cheeks, and then you began.

“sweetheart, my love will never let this rose die, accept my love in the form of this rose and I promise I will nurture it forever and will keep it red with the effect of each blood-drop flowing in my nerves.”

Oh my Gosh…!! You’d already taken it all over, the rosiness of that rose and your cute way to propose almost killed me with happiness, I couldn’t say anything and just ran towards you to push myself into your arms.

That moment was divine, that hug was divine and the kiss that we shared was tempting like old sweet wine.

“Look at the beauty of that time; it still makes my words rhyme”

But these little sweet rhymes are not enough to bring you back here; you have chosen your paths and your decision to break all those mild promises is sturdy.
I know you will never ever come back to nurture this dead, faint poor rose, I guess you have forgot everything with time and so should have been done by me, but I failed. I failed to get you out of my mind, I failed to overcome your scent, I failed to defeat those smooth romantic flashes, I failed to escape your memories and I failed to keep this rose alive and red.

But now my heart wants to forgive you and to free myself from the shackles of pain which your love gifted me.

I too deserve happiness and I want to add the blissful colors to my black& white life.

I am holding the faint rose in my hands, the only ‘alive piece’ of your memories and I wish to COLOR it RED. The black pain has taken over my love and has rotten and ruined it. The symbol of this love “that dead-faint rose” which rested in my diary for years, waited you to come and nurture it with your love has decided to hold back forever.

And it’s the time to color the wispy memories which has turned black and white.

I wish to color the dead faint rose.

June 8, 2011

"A piece of poetry"

A few verses are being engraved on my heartland.

Some of them are lucid; a few are hard to understand.

I wonder sometimes, who whispers the verses into my ears.

With each breath, A piece of poetry emerges and disappears.  

I walk down the lane of my soul, all alone, lost somewhere.

Every day, I discover the new blossom flying in the air.

I find the little happiness taking me away from all the fears.

With each breath, A piece of poetry emerges and disappears.

No matter how hard life examines and the day ends up in ashes.

Every new day, a new hope knocks at the edge of my eyelashes.

Life plays amazing games, bliss dances at times, sometimes pain fleers

With each breath, A piece of poetry emerges and disappears.

Eyes are the destination of dreams; heart is a home for hopes.

The beauty of life is in its flow, the course of time  never stops.

A one of its kind conversation, where I keep quite but life still hears.

With each breath, A piece of poetry emerges and disappears.

June 1, 2011

I just love the way my heart Loves you

Love the moment, when you happened in my life for the first time and took over the “whole world of mine” and you became my “whole world” in that only moment.

Love the way you rule my heart all the time, it’s you, your scent that drives me fervent, your absence kills me and a little avid ambition to hold you in my arms gives me strength to survive.

You are my strength, my weakness, my only desire, the fire in which my heart wants to get burnt down, you are the reason of my smile and every little drop falling from my eyes has your essence.

Just love it when you touch my heart with your charisma and take my breath away, love the times when I beg you to stay, just love the joining of my hands when you’re the only reason to pray.

Love the every single stupidity which I do to impress you, love the way I look into your eyes and you trap with your addictive glances, baby! I just love the way you rule my senses.

Love, I just wanna say, I’m madly in love with you.
&  I just love the way my heart Loves you.

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