I was upset, sitting alone; I didn’t really know what to do and how to get rid of the bug that was eating my head since morning. I was quiet, looking around with oddly arid eyes. I was in pain, but I couldn’t express it because of the surety that no one would care, this is what life had taught me throughout the years that when you are in pain, people laugh or stay neutral and a few of them express fake concern and soon they walk away.
I was too obtuse to grasp the tough lessons of life, so I got punished by the universal teacher several times. And imprints of those punishments got stamped on my memories, in form of bitter yet true experiences. I learnt from the lessons that if you want to survive without getting wounded, you have to wear a mask and never show your soft side to anyone.
And I succeeded in applying this lesson in my life, but it was tough, I had to struggle every time and this is what I was doing that day, sitting alone at the corner of basket ball court.
I would have seated there for few more minutes to hold the pain and hide it behind the social smile like other days, but guess life had a new chapter to begin and that’s why you joined in to break the routine or may be to guide me in parting the mask from my soft, mild existence.
“Why so sad?” you began to speak by sitting beside me.
“Who’s sad?” I pretended to answer you, but questioned instead.
“I know we are new to each other and you may be a kind of person who doesn’t want to share things or pretends to be strong, but hey just wanna say that sometimes it’s okay to be soft and its okay to cry.” You stunned me with your soft and straight words.
I couldn’t say anything, how penetrating your eyes were; you astonished me with your straight reach to my heart. But in that very second, you taught me the biggest lesson which missed in life’s classes, I must be sleeping that time..lol
My eyeballs started pouring out the salty rain and I cried in front of you, forgot that we were just friends, who met a few days ago, not much familiar to each other, you consoled me. The shield that I built and maintained for years seemed never existed for you.
That very moment brought us closer, we started sharing a special place in each other’s life, we were happy, getting closer and closer each new day.
But things changed with time, aha! change, the only thing which I always fail to handle. You walked away, you didn’t mention any reason for going & I couldn’t even ask for it.
Your presence dissolved in the air like a particle of vapor, as if you never existed. Your absence started killing me virtually; I was dying inside because in those years of togetherness I had completely forgotten to live without you.
I was feeling nerveless, dying to hold you in my arms, helpless and too frail to shatter into pieces. And those were the lonesome nights when I cried, cried like hell and survived.
Because I remembered the lesson you taught me that sometimes it’s okay to cry!
I thanked you for unfolding this secret of life to me, I still thank you and will always do coz your this phrase is keeping me alive.